​My Country, ’Tis of Thee

I have loved this song since I was a little girl. My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. I loved the way the words filled a room. I loved standing beside other people and singing something we all somehow knew. I loved the swell of it, the hope of it, the certainty of it. And all these years later, after seeing more of this country than that little girl could have ever imagined, I still love it. Maybe more now. Maybe differently. But goodness, I still love it.

Because now when I sing my country, I see her. I see mountains catching the first light of morning and rivers winding through places no road could ever reach. I see red rock rising out of desert soil and waves beating against a coastline as if they have been keeping time since the beginning of the world. I see forests where fallen trees become the beginning of something new, salmon fighting their way home, and fireflies blinking in the darkness with absolutely no idea how desperately some of us needed to see a little light.

But I also see the humans. Lord, I see the humans. Not the ones screaming at one another from opposite sides of a screen. Not the ones we are told represent all of us because anger makes better television and division keeps us watching. I see the humans carrying an extra water bottle because somebody might need it. I see the one who slows down on the trail without making the person behind feel slow. I see meals cooked for people who were strangers three days ago and chairs scooted closer because there is always room for one more.

I have watched park rangers kneel in the dirt to show a group of teachers something so small most people would walk right past it. I have watched educators stand in forests with tears running down their faces because somewhere between the moss and the mountains they remembered a part of themselves they thought life had taken. I have watched people dance with strangers, share their first s'more, laugh until they could barely breathe, and call across the darkness, “We are family now.” Tell me goodness is gone, and I will tell you that you simply have not been looking in the right places.

Maybe that is what breaks my heart most about where we are right now. We have been convinced that the loudest people are the most plentiful. We have mistaken cruelty for the character of a country and anger for the language of an entire people. We scroll past ten thousand quiet acts of goodness to stare at one terrible thing, and then we go to bed believing the terrible thing is all there is.

But nature knows better. A nurse log does not announce that it is giving the last of itself back to the forest. A river does not demand applause for carrying life downstream. A cedar does not keep count of every creature sheltered beneath its branches. The wildflowers do not refuse to bloom because the flower beside them is a different color. The mountains have never once asked us to agree before allowing all of us to stand in their shadow.

Perhaps this land has been trying to teach us how to belong to one another since long before we ever learned the words sweet land of liberty. Out here, nothing flourishes alone. The salmon need the river. The forest needs the fallen tree. The flowers need the bees, and the bees need the flowers. Life is passed back and forth in a thousand invisible exchanges, each one whispering the same truth we seem determined to forget: your flourishing and mine were never meant to be separate things.

I am not naive about this country. Loving her does not require me to close my eyes to her wounds. I know there are stories we have failed to tell and people we have failed to see. I know liberty has not always felt sweet to everyone who has sung those words. Love that refuses to tell the truth is not love at all. But neither is despair the only honest response to a complicated story.

I have walked too many miles across this country to believe that hatred is the truest thing about us. I have sat at too many tables where someone made room. I have watched too many hands reach backward on a trail. I have seen people give what they had, carry what someone else could not, and stand beside one another when walking away would have been so much easier. I have seen goodness in hiking boots and ranger hats, behind steering wheels and cafeteria counters, around campfires and beside hospital beds. It is everywhere, y'all. It just rarely has a microphone.

So yes, I still love this song. I still feel something rise in me when I hear my country, ’tis of thee. Not because I believe we have become everything those words ask us to be, but because I still believe we can keep becoming. I believe in the land that keeps showing us what connection looks like, and I believe in the good humans who wake up every morning and choose to make their small corner of it kinder.

Maybe freedom ringing does not always sound like a bell from a mountaintop. Maybe sometimes it sounds like a chair scraping across the floor as someone says, “Sit here.” Maybe it sounds like a name being remembered, a meal being shared, a hand reaching back, or a voice crossing the darkness to tell someone they are family now. Maybe the sweetest sound of liberty is another human being looking at you and saying, without hesitation or condition, “You belong here too.”

My country, ’tis of thee. I loved you as a little girl who knew the words but had barely seen the land she was singing about. I love you now as a woman who has stood beneath your trees, walked beside your rivers, crossed your deserts, watched the sun fall behind your mountains, and met your people. You are beautiful. You are bruised. You are complicated. You are still becoming.

And I still believe there is so much goodness here.

I have seen it with my own eyes.